‘ Shania ‘es not wurfit’

Dean St,
Newcastle upon Tyne

I’m gonna come right out now and say it, I don’t like this pub.

It’s the place where civil service nights go to die.

The Akenside sits on the corner at the bottom of Dean Street , next to The Bridge Tavern (a better pub) and across the road from the Crown Posoda (a much better pub) near the taxi rank ( another better pub)

A large pub, on a couple of different levels, I don’t think I’ve been in a pub with so many steps , stairs and other obstacles.

If you make it past the bouncers, you have to get up 2 steps to get to a surprisingly small step in front of a long bar. To further add to the assault course, pillars seem to be dotted about at random.

If you couple the steps, pillars and throw in too much seating, jaeger girls, pissed blokes one nudge away from kicking off, middle aged women caterwauling and dancing badly and a young lass crying near the door, all to a soundtrack of cheesy chart anthems…you get the Akenside traders.

It’s like a shit version of ninja warrior.

The only way I could enjoy it was by having an absolute skinful and going to hide in the toilets… which was an adventure in itself because everything is so cramped and busy the toilets seemed to be miles away.


The Akenside has been refurbed recently, trying to keep pace with the mini- revival going on down on the Quayside, with craft beer pubs opening. They have got a few ale taps on now, when I was in they had the very good Anarchy blondestar on, not that I had it, because I get the feeling it wouldn’t have been touched for days by anyone.

In spite of all of this, I still had a good night, maybe it was all the pints I had, or the Jaeger, or the company or maybe even the cheesy chart music.

Or maybe it’s not that bad and I’m just a miserable sod.

– So many steps , its good for burning those excess calories
– It’s near better pubs
– Has a roof

– High pitched women
– Steps(the band and the building feature)