The rumoured arrival of China White in Newcastle is another step closer. Now- to be fair- I honestly can’t remember where I heard about this, I may have even dreamt it.

But China Whites are opening in the Old Assembly Rooms. If you recall the Assembly Rooms was up for sale and although an offer was made for the take over of the premises, this fell through. 

At the time I suggested that it was because the land was cursed, and it seems I was right. 

China Whites move to the Assembly Rooms confirms our greatest fears that there is some sort of conjunction of ley lines in the area that these awful, awful people want to harness in an attempt to make the place a ghastly footballers shit hole.

China Whites have franchises up and down the country, with a draconian door policy (you only get in if you’re good looking – and if the flat-faced bouncers are a barometer of good looking we should all be okay). The one in Belfast opened to much fanfare and was a roaring success for a month then closed.

China Whites sounds like the type of bar that is run by cunts for cunts.