As many of you will know, we’re massive fans of the fake beach with fake grass nestled next to Newcastle’s majestic two-tier 6 lane central motorway.

Like me, you’re probably at a loss as to how they could possibly make this car park next to Newcastle’s busiest road any better. Well, somehow they have.

But how?

You wouldn’t be far off the mark if you guessed’ Typhoid’.

The owners of beach box have introduced sex baths/ hot tubs. Where, for a small fee, you can pop to the pub in your swimwear and hop into a hot tub, drink cocktails, watch films and get verrucas.

This sounds super brilliant and I can hardly wait for the first accidental drowning.