‘And the Lord said let there be shite’ It seems only appropriate that a hellish dive of a chain bar be turned into an imaginary garden of delights, if the garden of delights was through a haze of vape smoke overlooking a glass carbuncle that is frequented by a cackling swarm of the worst of […]
Drink ‘N’ Drizzle – Belfast Craft Beer Festival
Customs house square will be hosting a craft beer festival. If you like drinking over-priced beer out of an ‘eco cup’ in an incessant drizzle synonymous with Belfast, this could be the event for you! It’s not all bad, it’s the end of May so the rain promises to be a few degrees warmer than […]
Fire Damage At Flares Mistaken For Refurbishment
‘Fun’ pub Flares was evacuated on Wednesday morning after an air conditioning unit caught fire. Flares – a stalwart of the ‘LADS’ nights out – where you can drink tepid lager in garish surroundings while trying to touch up a lass who is out celebrating her recent Jeremy Kyle TV appearance. Punters at the popular […]
New Heaton Micropub to be called ‘Satans Drug Orgy’
In an attempt to placate Heaton Road residents, the owner of the new micropub- Louie Cypher-has announced the establishment name and mission statement. Mr Cypher said ‘Obviously this Hellmouth of a pub ‘Satan’s Drug Orgy’ must reflect my mission statement of eternal torment, so we have already removed the toilet seats from the cubicles, installed […]